Legal Eagles Circle Bud

My sister is a badass law student, and she just sent me a link to a law studenty blog called Above the Law. (I would make a poor lawyer because a) I'm already tired of using the word "law" and b) all I can think of right now is when Sly Stallone as Judge Dredd says "I am the law." Law law law.)

Anywho, one enterprising Facebook person who has some knowledge of the law took it upon himself to conjure up a "solution" to the Armando Galarraga blown-call imperfect game scenario. Above the Law goes into mad detail about it in this post: Free Legal Advice for MLB Commissioner Bud Selig.

The basic idea is to amend the rule book to give the official scorekeeper the power to change an umpire's call in the very specific circumstances of Galarraga's game, ie. when it's a blown call on the second to last batter of a perfect game when the temperature is between 74 and 76 degrees and the moon is in the fourth quadrant of Jupiter. Functionally, based on the laws of probability and whatnot, I'm guessing the circumstances wouldn't occur again before the sun explodes, so bing-bang-boom, Galarraga gets his perfect game and baseball trundles forward none the worse for wear.

This strikes me as a very lawyerly way to attack the problem. Rule switches and 24-hour deadlines and (i) nd (ii) and AMEND this and that, etc. My impatience for such labyrinthine solutions only reinforces the stinging message that my LSAT scores already delivered.

So instead of cajoling the legalese and manipulating the rule book, here's my solution: Bud Selig tapes a big triangular S to his chest, grabs an oversized novelty gavel, calls a press conference on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and brings the universe back into order with a simple declaration warbled through hillside. Jim Joyce, with that mustache, makes for a great villain. They could cart him off in a strait jacket for the theater of it.

Some Killer Bees Notes

Along with three friends, I am coaching a Little League team of seven, eight, and nine year olds. All four of us are in our early twenties. Needless to say, we are the only coaches in the league without kids of our own. Our goal? Utter domination. Throughout the season I will keep Pitchers & Poets readers updated on the goings on surrounding the team.

Our season is almost over. Before the final wrap-up post, I thought I'd post some interesting statistical notes sent by coach/statistician Kenneth:

• Young Roy Oswalt has come up to the plate 25 times this year and has walked or struck out 24 times. He gets a free pass in 60% of his trips to the plate, the best rate on the team.

• Young Shawn Green has 8 of our 18 extra base hits this year (you could probably write an entire post with his more impressive tidbits...*

• Young Joe Mauer and Young Craig Biggio both have 11 hits, but Biggio has 18 RBI while Mauer only has 4.

• Past two starts by Dottie Hinson: 4 IP, 10 K's, 6 BB's, 0 Runs, 49 total pitches.

*Young Shawn Green has a slash line of .700/.769/2.019. On Balls in Play, his batting average is an even more insane .870.

Modern Day Milton

A few days ago, a reader named Greg left an epic comment on one of our most popular posts: The Definitive Unsourced Milton Bradley Timeline. We liked the comment so much that we decided (with his gracious permission) to republish it here:

As you say, the timeline requires periodic updating.  Here's my suggestion for the moment you left off in 2009 to date:

2009 C:  December 18, more than a few days later, the Cubs trade Bradley to the Seattle Mariners for RHP Carlos Silva and cash.

2010:   May 4, 2010:  With the team on a losing streak, and Bradley  one of the only bats recently making any noise, he is moved into the cleanup spot, where he starts off by going 0-3.  After being pulled from the game in the 7th inning after consecutive strikeouts looking, the latter with the bases loaded, and the team trailing 3-1, he reportedly complains that manager Don Wakamatsu isn't defending him sufficiently with the umpire and says, "I'm packing my stuff. I'm out of here."  The team loses 5-2, its fourth in what would become an eight game losing streak.

May 5, 2010:  Bradley makes a scheduled appearance at a local elementary school, gives an impassioned talk about what motivated him growing up to become a ball player, then meets with his manager and the GM and says he needs help for ongoing personal problems.  Art Thiel's Seattle PI column describes the prior night's loss as the "worst game of the season" and notes that Carlos Silva will continue to be the "gift that keeps on giving, right into his start for the National League in the All-Star Game."  Art's "worst game of the season"would be topped (bottomed?) by others before the month of May is over.

May 6, 2010:  The Mariners announce that they have placed Bradley on the restricted list.  Thus begin his 15 days  off to seek counseling.

May 19, 2010:   Bradley is reactivated, the Mariners having gone 3-10 in his absence.  Other candidates for "worst game of the season" in the  intervening stretch include back to back 8-0 losses to the Rays and the Angels May 6 and 7, and a 6-5 loss to the Orioles in which Felix Hernandez pitches 7 innings, and exits with a 5-1 lead going into the bottom of the 8th.

May 24, 2010:   Bradley gives interviews about why he asked for help.  He says he thought about getting help in 2009, while still with the Chicago Cubs:  "I wanted to take some time out, get my thoughts together, and just speak to someone and get an understanding from somebody unbiased," he says. "But you can't really do that in Chicago. There's just too much going on."  Meanwhile, in Arlington, Texas, the Cubs spot Carlos Silva a 4 run lead in top of the first, and he scatters 6 hits and 3 runs over 5 1/3 innings to improve his record to 6-0.

May 25, 2010:   Bradley, hitting cleanup for the first time since his May 4 meltdown, goes 2 for 4 with a two-run home run and three RBI as the M's defeat the Tigers 5-3.  After his RBI single in the 8th scores Chone Figgins for the go-ahead run, he leaves first base as a pitching change is made and celebrates with teammates in the dugout.  He comments later, "I was full of joy," he said. "The whole day, I just felt right. I had the right attitude and the right approach. My mind was clear, and I didn't have a worry at all up there. I was able to come through."

…and they all lived happily ever after.

Portrait of a Man Out of His Depth

If you're into awkward conversations, people discussing issues they have no professional knowledge of, and winter hats in the summer, watch Manny Delcarmen play Dan Savage (many NSFW words) for ten minutes over at boston.com.

Link

Podcast 12: Lovitz is Not Bigger Than Baseball

[podcast]http://www.roguesbaseballindex.com/pnp_podcasts/PnP_012.mp3[/podcast]In the latest episode of the podcast, we play the name game, we play for the Lovitz of the game and talk about lots of other things like Roy Oswalt and Geoff Blum and baseball cards and Mark Buehrle and more.

Right-click here to download.