25 Mar 2009, by Eric
Arrived in my inbox this afternoon, courtesy of the Los Angeles Dodgers:
We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in the Broadcast Assistant position with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Although your resume’ [stray apostrophe], educational and work experience was quite impressive [this whole clause is severely wounded ... gushing blood], we selected a candidate whose background more closely matched the Department’s needs. We will however, retain your resume’ [stray apostrophe] on file should a future need arise where we may utilize your expertise.
You may want to occasionally peruse our website at www. Dodgers.com [random space in url] for available employment opportunities, [unnecessary coma] and apply again at that time.
On behalf of the Los Angeles Dodgers we wish you success with [should be in] your career pursuits.
Style and grammar errors are marked for your convenience. At least when I applied to be a receptionist for the Yankees they had the courtesy not to get back to me.
25 Mar 2009, by Eric
I resisted putting this song on there because somehow it has come to represent everything obnoxious about the Red Sox. But there's nothing I can do to avoid the fact that like some women from Boston, it was easily available for free download. So Tessie, welcome to the Mixtape. Make sure you check out the Mixtape page, the sidebar, or the stealthy music player in the bottom left hand corner of your screen.
24 Mar 2009, by Eric
Dayn Perry had an excellent post this morning, “The Case Against the Case Against Barry Bonds.” In terms easy for a legal novice like me to understand, he explains the main elements of the federal case and simultaneously cuts it to shreds. He also seamlessly uses the phrase "many-tentacled:"
Barry Bonds’ terminally looming jury trial has been postponed, perhaps until the fall. At some point, though, he’ll probably be dragged in front of his peers on four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice. All of it, of course, traces back to the many-tentacled BALCO scandal, which has been too much with us for the better part of a decade. But it’s going to end soon, and this will almost certainly be the closing scene: Bonds’ walking out of the federal courthouse in San Francisco a free man.
Maybe I found the post so informative because I haven’t followed the Bonds case much. I’ve been burnt out on steroid and PED stories, and anyway the jury in my head convicted Barry Bonds about five years ago. Perry's post leaves me asking an important question. Who cares? Aside from the purely legal aspect (Bonds probably broke the law), I don’t see how the outcome of this trial does anything to significantly affect his legacy. He’s guilty in the public conscience, and it will take a hell of a lot more than some court decision for him to regain his footing. It will take a lot of humility, some profuse apologies, and maybe a little bit of groveling. None of those are going to happen here.
The example I can’t help but turn to (noting the difference between killing someone and cheating a little) is OJ Simpson. Most people think OJ did it. Obviously that brings up a lot of racial implications i, but Bonds can easily be substituted for Roger Clemens or Rafael Pameiro who their own legal swamps, and the question doesn’t change. A major sports star betrays the public’s trust, refuses to own up, and devolves into some kind of sad parody of his former existence.
How long before Barry Bonds coauthors If I Juiced: The Mystery Novel? How long before Bobby Estalella, the career .216 hitter who owned up to his own steroid use, is held as a model of dignity beside his former teammate?
24 Mar 2009, by Eric
This week's poem is an anonymous piece published by the Chicago Tribune in 1886. Back in those days, it was common for newspapers to include baseball poetry. In fact, the one baseball poem you've heard of, Casey At The Bat, came to existence that way. It was written by a sportswriter, Ernest Thayer, and my best guess is that Slug The Umpire was as well. Either way, it's a fun read, and brought to you compliments of Jim Bouton who piqued my interest by quoting a couple lines in his review of that Bruce Weber umpire book I made fun of last week.
Mother, may I slug the umpire
May I slug him right away?
So he cannot be here, Mother
When the clubs begin to play?
Let me clasp his throat, dear mother,
In a dear delightful grip
With one hand and with the other
Bat him several in the lip.
Let me climb his frame, dear mother,
While the happy people shout;
I'll not kill him, dearest mother
I will only knock him out.
Let me mop the ground up, Mother,
With his person, dearest do;
If the ground can stand it, Mother
I don't see why you can't, too.
Mother may I slug the umpire,
Slug him right between the eyes?
If you let me do it, Mother
You shall have the champion prize.
22 Mar 2009, by Eric
On Saturday I went to a panel discussion on the ‘comic imagination.’ It was pretty funny. Joining me in the audience was a Pulitzer Prize-winning sports writer who covered baseball in the 1980s for the NY Times. In a discussion of context, he mentioned that in clubhouses, you can pretty much say anything to anybody. In sports (incoming pun intended), nothing is out of bounds.
To back up his point he shared this anecdote, a batting practice exchange between former Pittsburgh teammates Bill Madlock and Lee Mazzilli as they prepared to face off in a Spring Training game. Madlock was with the Dodgers and Mazzilli with the Mets:
Madlock: So Lee, I’m new here and you know this town. You have a girl lined up for me tonight right?
Mazzilli: I’m not a miracle worker, Bill
Madlock: Aww come on, You’ve got to know somebody.
Mazzilli: Well, there’s always my wife I guess.
Madlock: Nah no thanks, I had your wife last spring, looking for something new.
It's worth noting, I think, that Lee Mazzilli and his wife Dani, appear to have a wonderful marriage and family