Podcast 13: A Portrait of the Umpire

In this episode, we overstate our podcast experience, speak fondly of Ken Griffey Jr. and the 1990s, and commiserate with all parties of the tragic Armando Galarraga/Jim Joyce fiasco. We appreciate the fine work of Bobby Abreu, his consistent bat, and his colorful glove. We choose sides on the best way to lose, welcome the incoming Strasburgmania, and contemplate the Nationals Identity — or lack thereof.

 

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Lines in the Sand

Bryce Harper got ejected from a JUCO World Series game recently, and for me what was more interesting than the delicate personality traits of a 17-year-old kid is the taboo that he put in the spotlight: drawing a line in the sand. Jonathan has the story on his B3 blog.

Harper was ticked about a bad call on a pitch off the plate that got called for a third strike. In the course of his griping about the call to the umpire, he swiped at a spot in the dirt with his bat, presumably where he thought the pitch crossed–or in this case failed to cross–the plate. The swipe (which for my money kicked a bit of dirt at the ump as well, which is unacceptable at the college level) ticked off the ump, who tossed Harper post haste.

An astute commenter, astrostl, on Mayo’s blog pointed out that, in fact, making a mark in the dirt to show where you thought the pitch was is an instantly toss-worthy offense, even at the highest levels. To very resoundingly argue his point, the commenter pointed to a video of Ichiro Suzuki’s first ever ejection from an MLB game. Hard to argue the speed with which he was heaved.

I hadn’t ever heard this unwritten-type rule before, and it was enlightening to have an online reading experience start with the slightly bratty ejection of a kid who in a few days will be The Business, and end with a new piece of knowledge that I will look for in MLB11: The Show.

Legal Eagles Circle Bud

My sister is a badass law student, and she just sent me a link to a law studenty blog called Above the Law. (I would make a poor lawyer because a) I’m already tired of using the word “law” and b) all I can think of right now is when Sly Stallone as Judge Dredd says “I am the law.” Law law law.)

Anywho, one enterprising Facebook person who has some knowledge of the law took it upon himself to conjure up a “solution” to the Armando Galarraga blown-call imperfect game scenario. Above the Law goes into mad detail about it in this post: Free Legal Advice for MLB Commissioner Bud Selig.

The basic idea is to amend the rule book to give the official scorekeeper the power to change an umpire’s call in the very specific circumstances of Galarraga’s game, ie. when it’s a blown call on the second to last batter of a perfect game when the temperature is between 74 and 76 degrees and the moon is in the fourth quadrant of Jupiter. Functionally, based on the laws of probability and whatnot, I’m guessing the circumstances wouldn’t occur again before the sun explodes, so bing-bang-boom, Galarraga gets his perfect game and baseball trundles forward none the worse for wear.

This strikes me as a very lawyerly way to attack the problem. Rule switches and 24-hour deadlines and (i) nd (ii) and AMEND this and that, etc. My impatience for such labyrinthine solutions only reinforces the stinging message that my LSAT scores already delivered.

So instead of cajoling the legalese and manipulating the rule book, here’s my solution: Bud Selig tapes a big triangular S to his chest, grabs an oversized novelty gavel, calls a press conference on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and brings the universe back into order with a simple declaration warbled through hillside. Jim Joyce, with that mustache, makes for a great villain. They could cart him off in a strait jacket for the theater of it.

Some Killer Bees Notes

Along with three friends, I am coaching a Little League team of seven, eight, and nine year olds. All four of us are in our early twenties. Needless to say, we are the only coaches in the league without kids of our own. Our goal? Utter domination. Throughout the season I will keep Pitchers & Poets readers updated on the goings on surrounding the team.

Our season is almost over. Before the final wrap-up post, I thought I’d post some interesting statistical notes sent by coach/statistician Kenneth:

  • Young Roy Oswalt has come up to the plate 25 times this year and has walked or struck out 24 times. He gets a free pass in 60% of his trips to the plate, the best rate on the team.
  • Young Shawn Green has 8 of our 18 extra base hits this year (you could probably write an entire post with his more impressive tidbits…*
  • Young Joe Mauer and Young Craig Biggio both have 11 hits, but Biggio has 18 RBI while Mauer only has 4.
  • Past two starts by Dottie Hinson: 4 IP, 10 K’s, 6 BB’s, 0 Runs, 49 total pitches.

*Young Shawn Green has a slash line of .700/.769/2.019. On Balls in Play, his batting average is an even more insane .870.

Modern Day Milton

A few days ago, a reader named Greg left an epic comment on one of our most popular posts: The Definitive Unsourced Milton Bradley Timeline. We liked the comment so much that we decided (with his gracious permission) to republish it here:

As you say, the timeline requires periodic updating.  Here’s my suggestion for the moment you left off in 2009 to date:

2009 C:  December 18, more than a few days later, the Cubs trade Bradley to the Seattle Mariners for RHP Carlos Silva and cash.

2010:   May 4, 2010:  With the team on a losing streak, and Bradley  one of the only bats recently making any noise, he is moved into the cleanup spot, where he starts off by going 0-3.  After being pulled from the game in the 7th inning after consecutive strikeouts looking, the latter with the bases loaded, and the team trailing 3-1, he reportedly complains that manager Don Wakamatsu isn’t defending him sufficiently with the umpire and says, “I’m packing my stuff. I’m out of here.”  The team loses 5-2, its fourth in what would become an eight game losing streak.

May 5, 2010:  Bradley makes a scheduled appearance at a local elementary school, gives an impassioned talk about what motivated him growing up to become a ball player, then meets with his manager and the GM and says he needs help for ongoing personal problems.  Art Thiel’s Seattle PI column describes the prior night’s loss as the “worst game of the season” and notes that Carlos Silva will continue to be the “gift that keeps on giving, right into his start for the National League in the All-Star Game.”  Art’s “worst game of the season”would be topped (bottomed?) by others before the month of May is over.

May 6, 2010:  The Mariners announce that they have placed Bradley on the restricted list.  Thus begin his 15 days  off to seek counseling.

May 19, 2010:   Bradley is reactivated, the Mariners having gone 3-10 in his absence.  Other candidates for “worst game of the season” in the  intervening stretch include back to back 8-0 losses to the Rays and the Angels May 6 and 7, and a 6-5 loss to the Orioles in which Felix Hernandez pitches 7 innings, and exits with a 5-1 lead going into the bottom of the 8th.

May 24, 2010:   Bradley gives interviews about why he asked for help.  He says he thought about getting help in 2009, while still with the Chicago Cubs:  ”I wanted to take some time out, get my thoughts together, and just speak to someone and get an understanding from somebody unbiased,” he says. “But you can’t really do that in Chicago. There’s just too much going on.”  Meanwhile, in Arlington, Texas, the Cubs spot Carlos Silva a 4 run lead in top of the first, and he scatters 6 hits and 3 runs over 5 1/3 innings to improve his record to 6-0.

May 25, 2010:   Bradley, hitting cleanup for the first time since his May 4 meltdown, goes 2 for 4 with a two-run home run and three RBI as the M’s defeat the Tigers 5-3.  After his RBI single in the 8th scores Chone Figgins for the go-ahead run, he leaves first base as a pitching change is made and celebrates with teammates in the dugout.  He comments later, “I was full of joy,” he said. “The whole day, I just felt right. I had the right attitude and the right approach. My mind was clear, and I didn’t have a worry at all up there. I was able to come through.”

…and they all lived happily ever after.

Portrait of a Man Out of His Depth

If you’re into awkward conversations, people discussing issues they have no professional knowledge of, and winter hats in the summer, watch Manny Delcarmen play Dan Savage (many NSFW words) for ten minutes over at boston.com.

Link

Podcast 12: Lovitz is Not Bigger Than Baseball

  In the latest episode of the podcast, we play the name game, we play for the Lovitz of the game and talk about lots of other things like Roy Oswalt and Geoff Blum and baseball cards and Mark Buehrle and more.

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Radio Motion Meditation

Via Flickr User Nite_Owel

A version of this essay appears at Everyday Ichiro

In a previous post, I talked about sports talk radio. Now, it’s onto the good side of baseball on the radio: the game broadcasts.

I listened to a good part of Sunday’s  Mariners game against the Padres on the radio while driving home from a camping trip with my wife and a group of friends. That I listened on the radio is notable because it was the first time that I have done so all season. Until then, in an attempt to observe and report as much as I could of the Mariners, in the kind of detail that is only possible through TV, I had ridden my DVR like a jockey.  The radio, well I left it in the figurative closet, like an antique attache case, made of the kind of old leather that smells like the recliner in your grandparents’ living room that you used to fall asleep in.

Like that leather attache case, baseball on the radio these days requires some back story to be truly appreciated.

My history with the Mariners is only a month or so deep. As such, I’ve got very little back story. At the beginning of the season, I had nothing to go on but some spring training games. I turned to TV broadcasts to cull Mariners knowledge through my eyeballs. Ichiro’s batting stance, King Felix’s mechanics and pitch movement, Guti’s glovework near the wall, and so on. I’m all for using my imagination, but I would have been out of my comfort zone listening to games about players I hadn’t watched play.

Also, I wanted to see how each player carried himself, and what their general presentation was.* Radio, for all of its charms and enchantments, can’t feed my eyeballs with that information. Instead it consists of the limited storytelling scope of one or two observers. They’re hard-working observers, without a doubt, but they’re constrained by the limitations of their medium. Not to say that TV doesn’t also face myriad constraints, but I think it’s safe to say that many more of the senses are stimulated when you watch TV. There’s basically a radio broadcast laid over the constant stream of images, so everything TV-wise is an add-on from the foundations of the radio broadcast. Humankind and its social interactions and judgments leaped forward on the shoulders of speech and storytelling, but we’re still rooted in faces and bodies, postures and poses, and that’s what TV offers.

*It’s also true that Mariners fans also had to learn about their own players, like newcomers Casey Kotchman and Cliff Lee, for example, who they might not have watched play for more than a few games previously.

Via Flickr user abardwell

Granted, I’m discounting the great possibilities of the human imagination, replacing wonder with concrete data. It’s the book vs. movie problem, in essence, ie. that I can’t read a Harry Potter book anymore without envisioning the actors who played them in the movie series. I saw the movies before I read the books, so now I will never know what my brain would have come up with if I had read them first. I will also never know what it’s like to imagine the Mariners via the descriptions of Dave Niehaus. But really baseball isn’t about imagination as much as it is about the wonder of actual things. Every day you’ll see something new, yes, but you’ll see something new that is real. The play of the imagination isn’t in the tension of real vs. fantastic, but of the magic of every day life, of Every Day Ichiro.

That being said, radio does have its mystical properties. It was with some nostalgic pleasure that I found the game on the radio while driving home from a weekend away. Not only was this the first broadcast I heard on the year, but there isn’t a better way to end a camping trip or to spend an hour on the road than with live baseball on the radio. It’s the middle ground between the country and the city, a bridge from our pastoral roots to the urban present.

So I turned up Dave Niehaus piping through on 710 AM, I draped an arm out the window, and I tuned out.

I didn’t literally tune out, like out of life. I kept an eye on the road and all, and at the very least I wasn’t texting and driving. But instead of zeroing in on the details of the Mariners game, on every pitch, I let my mind wander in between the phrasings, and the pure sounds of a man telling a story of a game happening somewhere distant. The radio game was the backdrop, the hazy middle distance seen from the path that my thoughts wandered, rarely settling anywhere but walking, step after step, in the directionless direction of a figurative destination, the highway emerging a few car lengths ahead and crumbling away behind me. Driving the pace of my ranging thoughts: the game itself, pitch after pitch ringing in the subconscious like a heartbeat.

The radio, humming along like time and the storyteller before the fire, sets a beat to life rather than recreating the world the way that TV does. So maybe I was wrong. I didn’t need to know anything about the Mariners that the radio couldn’t provide, because the voice in the radio doesn’t offer information as much as it does forward motion. A sense of progress, through time, through life, down the highway, on the way home.

Jose Lima (1972-2010)

He had his greatest successes with the Astros and Dodgers — our favorite teams. But in any and every uniform, Jose Lima was a joy to behold. People like him, careers like his, triumphs and failures like those he embodied are why we we continue to love baseball. (Pic via Andy Hutchins)

Unverified Wikipedia Quote of the Day!

Just before the fifth, and final, pitch to Joe Carter, CBS Sports announcer Tim McCarver commented that Carter (relatively unproductive in the Series to date) looked awkward and uncomfortable at the plate.

- from Wikipedia page about the 1993 World Series, and Game 6




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