Archive for the 'Quizzes' Category

PnP Postseason Quiz Greatest Hits

A few weeks ago, we asked readers to answer some silly postseason/Halloween themed questions. Their answers are pretty fun to read now that the postseason has ended and Halloween is long gone.  Our favorite responses are below:

1. The 2009 Playoff Yankees: same old overpriced trick, or sparkling new, glorybound treat?

Dave: Can it be both? Still a corporate behemoth that kills the dreams of small-market-team children everywhere, they DO have pitching this time around…

Stretch: Sparkling new glorybound treat, thanks largely to the class and intelligence of their respectful-of-the-game skipper. Expect to see more titles in the next half-dozen years. (Note: this coming from a guy who has never liked the Yankees.)

Kenneth: Step 1: Compile team of superstars. Step 2: ???. Step 3: Profit(make the playoffs). Well those assholes have made it to the playoffs in 14 of the past 15 years. That sounds like an extremely old overpriced trick to me.

2. The postseason always seems to be prone to fluke performances and freak accidents. Closers blow saves. Left fielders drop routine line drives. Journeymen pitch like ancient heroes. Is this just statistical randomness at play, or do supernatural, paranormal forces bewitch the arms of hurlers and jinx the mitts of Gold Glovers?

BL: I find it rather distasteful to call Grover Cleveland Alexander’s battle with epilepsy during the 1926 World Series a “supernatural, paranormal force”

Ember Nickel:

There’s many a freakish, odd play
That would be forgotten in May.
But done in November
You’ll surely remember
It after the year goes away.

Akshay: Anabolic Steroids are known to only last exactly 162 games based on current research. No wonder Matt Holliday messed up and Joe Nathan forgot how to pitch.

3. Scariest Halloween nickname: Al “The Mad Hungarian” Hrabosky, Vlad “the Impaler” Guerrero, or Jack “the Ripper” Clark?

Consensus winner: Vlad “the Implaer” Guerrero

4. If you could put your own postseason curse on a team, which team would it be? What would the backstory be? Get creative.

Dave: I would curse the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series every season. At first they’d be thrilled, but soon they would come to lose their sob-story identity entirely, and everyone in the league would hate them for their constant success. This insane shift of fate would be so dramatic that Cub fans would start complaining that it isn’t fair that they never lose, just to get back to complaining again.

BL: The worse curse possible: I would have die-hard fans of a iconic glory starved team, say the Indians or Cubs, lose a heartbreaking 7-game World Series or NLCS to an expansion team that doesn’t try 4 out of every 5 years, prominently features teal in its uniform and plays in a football stadium where good seats are generally VERY available oh and Kevin Brown should be on one of the teams – that would be really fucked up

Paul: I would curse the Dodgers to watch an endless loop or “I don’t believe what I just saw” and Kirk Gibson doing his limp-ass fist-pump. Over and over, for all time.

5. Which overused historical postseason baseball highlight have you seen so often that you want to  dump a bucket of blood a la Carrie on its head? Which underused moment in history should be prom king?

Alex: Sorry Eric, but Gibson’s homerun, great play, but lets give it a rest. And now for my homerism Endy Chavez’s catch in the NLCS.

Reeves: Kirk Gibson’s home run. I mean, Game 1? Really? Give me more Joe Carter

Paul: I would curse the Dodgers to watch an endless loop or “I don’t believe what I just saw” and Kirk Gibson doing his limp-ass fist-pump. Over and over, for all time.

Akshay: Kirk Gibson. Easy Answer. I would use 1995 Edgar Martinez double down the line ending with dogpile on Junior and that pretty smile of his.

Kenneth (edited version): The Gibson HR gets a disproportionate amount of airtime. Yes, yes FOX we understand that he could barely walk when he hit that HR. But really him swinging a bat pales in comparison to Willis Reed running up and down a basketball court for 40+ minutes.

Fine guys, I get it.

Ember:

Though it’s but my bias, I am
Partial to Ventura’s “grand slam”,
A ghostly home run.
Yes, the game was won,
But single, salami, or sham?

6. More effective Cardinals postseason disguise: Brendan Ryan as The Rogue or Albert Pujols as a banjo hitter?

Consensus: Banjo Hitter with bad mustache.

7. Hypothetical situation: a new rule requires admitted and convicted PED users to wear a scarlet letter of shame on their uniform during the playoffs. Do you support or oppose this rule? Why or why not?

Akshay: They should all be tattooed with a big asterisk on their forehead.

Steve: Consider where most of the Scarlet Letters of Shame would be needed. Do you really think they’ll show up well on the Red Sox uniforms? Oh, SNAP!

Ember:

Throughout the decades, baseball’s seen
Cheaters, racists, those just plain mean,
And various jerks.
I don’t think it works
To make this decade’s drama a scene.

You can’t choose one era’s bent laws
And claim they’re the ones to give pause.
Though the game’s been hurt,
Red thread on a shirt
Won’t do a lot to help the cause.

8. Name the horror movie villain who best corresponds to the postseason’s remaining closers: Mariano Rivera, Jonathon Broxton, Brad Lidge, and Brian Fuentes.

Rivera: Mike Myers, T-1000 from Terminator 2, that little bunny from Monty Python’s  Holy Grail, the Chupacabra (inexplicable), Hannibal Lector (winner!)

Broxton: Frankenstein, Biff from Back to the Future, David Wells, Swamp Thing,

Brad Lidge: Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, Jack Torrance (Nicholson’s character  in The Shining), The alien guy from Men In Black. He may be scary, but never succeeds.

Fuentes: Pennywise the Clown, Cartman, Brian Fuentes of the ‘07 Rockies (scared the dickens out of Denver, beginning about September 15th), Freddy Kreuger

The Pitchers & Poets Spooky Scary Postseason Quiz

brendan-ryan-the-rogue

Brendan Ryan and The Rogue

Editor’s Note: We will be accepting answers through Tuesday October 20th. That’s a one-week window from publication for those of you who wish to be included in the best-of post. (But really, the act of answering is a reward in itself.)

It’s that time of year again. Postseason baseball, and little kids dressed up like Spiderman. In honor of the season, we bring you our second ever Pitchers & Poets Quiz. This time with the duel themes of Halloween and The Playoffs. Our previous quiz was hugely popular (by our meager-as-fun-size Snickers bars standards), and we hope that you enjoy this one too. Answer the questions you care to answer in the form of your choice: essays, sonnets, rambles, and insults are all welcome. Just be sure to place them squarely in the comment section:

1. The 2009 Playoff Yankees: same old overpriced trick, or sparkling new, glorybound treat?

2. The postseason always seems to be prone to fluke performances and freak accidents. Closers blow saves. Left fielders drop routine line drives. Journeymen pitch like ancient heroes. Is this just statistical randomness at play, or do supernatural, paranormal forces bewitch the arms of hurlers and jinx the mitts of Gold Glovers?

3. Scariest Halloween nickname: Al “The Mad Hungarian” Hrabosky, Vlad “the Impaler” Guerrero, or Jack “the Ripper” Clark?

4. If you could put your own postseason curse on a team, which team would it be? What would the backstory be? Get creative.

5. Which overused historical postseason baseball highlight have you seen so often that you want to  dump a bucket of blood a la Carrie on its head? Which underused moment in history should be prom king?

6. More effective Cardinals postseason disguise: Brendan Ryan as The Rogue or Albert Pujols as a banjo hitter?

7. Hypothetical situation: a new rule requires admitted and convicted PED users to wear a scarlet letter of shame on their uniform during the playoffs. Do you support or oppose this rule? Why or why not?

7b. If not, what behavior would merit the scarlet letter treatment?

8. Name the horror movie villain who best corresponds to the postseason’s remaining closers: Mariano Rivera, Jonathon Broxton, Brad Lidge, and Brian Fuentes.

Answer away! Like last time, we’ll compile our favorite responses in a massive best-of post.

PnP Midseason Quiz Greatest Hits

17 people (including Ted and I) responded to the first-ever PnP Midseason Quiz. Although very proud of this, we are also slightly concerned that the most popular post in the history of this blog is not a well written essay or fun piece of commentary but set of hypothetical questions. Anyway, the questions ilicited some serious brilliance from you guys. So thanks so much for the insight and for the participation. It has been a pleasure reading these. I picked three of my favorite answers for each question to share below:

One reader suggests that ex-Commish Bowie Kuhn is baseballs least deserving Hall of Famer

One reader suggests that ex-Commish Bowie Kuhn is baseball's least deserving Hall of Famer

1. Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?

Alex: Keith Herenandez obviously. That mustache is glorious, plus it makes great fodder for those sexist Just for Men commercials.

Paul Catalano: Oscar Gamble. Great afro and a awesome huge moustache

Walter: Ken Caminiti had some real aggressive facial hair. He looked like a tweaked out biker who just spent the past three years lifting weights in San Quentin or Pelican Bay.

*Worth noting: Al Hrabosky and Mike Piazza led all recipients with two votes each

2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.

Bob Ferguson: Paul Rueschel. He had under 400 career innings and was the larger of the two Rueschel brothers which is really saying something. The great majority of his career came with the Chicago Cubs. He came up three years after his younger brother and pitched in his shadow for his best 3 ½ season in the majors, which still weren’t very good. In 1977, Tops printed a brother’s card with Paul and Rick both on it, the only problem was they switched up the names. Tops knew about the error but cared so little they never changed it.

Akshay: I am going with the sisterly version of this question. I always felt bad for Kit Keller. Dottie Henson was just too much of a superstar for the Rockford Peaches. (I certainly hope I do not have to explain the reference!)

BBL: Ozzie Canseco is the obvious choice but I’m going with Paul Dean due to the unfortunate barnyard incident he and Dizzy both valiantly tried to stop as children

3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?

Cone wins by a score of 9-4.  Ember Nickel gives my favorite explanation:

Ember Nickel: Cone, because poetic types should be able to talk about pitchers who’ve actually pitched perfect games and not just nearly-perfect ones that represent the subjectivity and meaninglessness of the modern world or whatever.

4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?

Pat Allen: A smart aleck answer would be Babe Ruth. A better answer is that it would depend on the situation. For example, for a bunt, it would be Greg Maddux. I don’t know about singles. While an obvious answer for home runs is Carlos Zambrano, he can be pitched to fairly easily in close situations late in the game. Carlos swings too hard (i.e., he doesn’t “stay within himself”), so a smart pitcher can get him. He is only about 1 for 10 while pinchhitting.

Brian Wolff: Other than the obvious early Babe Ruth. I’d say that Micah Owings would probably pinch hit for power better than most bench players out there. He could pull off the next “Rich Ankiel” move if his pitching doesn’t improve soon.

Exiled in NJ: Don Newcombe wasn’t bad, Mike Hampton or Kenny Brett

5. Favorite Casey Stengel managed ball club?

Paul Catalano: 1962 Mets

BBL: 1963 Mets – improved by 11 games over ’62 Mets!

Matthew: I don’t want to go with a Yankees team but the rest of his teams are only memorable for being awful, so I guess I’ll have to pick the 1951 Yankees with the changeover from DiMaggio to Mantle, plus Johnny Mize.

6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?

BBL: Bull Durham mainly because I went to Bulls games and the Bull never assaulted my cousin; sadly I cannot say the same of the Winston-Salem Warthog

Ted: Field of Dreams. I could watch James Earl Jones brush the imaginary flies of memory away from his face on a loop for hours.

Marc R: Bull Durham-even though it had way too much sex and not enough baseball

7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?

Pat Allen: Who cares.

Dave: Gary Thorne for the Baltimore Orioles. He brings a hockey-like intensity to the lovely game of baseball. “SAKIC SCORES!” or “BASEHIT UP THE MIDDLE!”, its all money with Gary.

Bob Ferguson: I have many problems with this question, especially the excluding the only people you really ever listen to part. Also, I don’t really like the crews part either, I generally hate one of the two guys. This really doesn’t answer the question but the best announcer in the game is Steve Stone and the worst is Hawk Harrelson. I gave you one crew at least.

8. Least deserving Hall of Famer?

BBL: Without question Bowie Kuhn (amongst his many crimes: my father once asked him if he slept in the nude and Bowie refused to answer)

Paul Catalano: Bill Mazeroski No offense Bill. But a .260 BA, 138 HRs and a .299 OBP dopn’t really cut it.

Brian Wolff: Roger Bresnahan definitely doesn’t have anywhere close to H.O.F. stats although he did popularize modern catching equipment his 26, YES!, 26 career homers/530rbi/.279avg over 17 seasons while being a great and versatile fielder just does not add up to enough to mention only 1 post season and a losing record as a manager

9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?

Reeves: The Kansas City Royals. Remember them? George Brett, 1985, fountains in the outfield. Did they become the Diamondbacks or Marlins?

Ember Nickel: Brooklyn is a good choice, though my initial instinct was the Cleveland Spiders. I’d also support returning the Braves to Boston if and only if their mascot would make slightly more historical sense and cause slightly less protesting.

Walter: Les Expos.

10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

Exiled In NJ: Who carried an umbrella to the plate to point out it was raining? Bobby Bragan had a few techniques, including laying down on his back I believe.

Matthew: The Braves minor-league manager could have won if he cut his act by just a little bit. It wound up being overdone even though the grenade act was probably the most original single action I’ve ever seen. Otherwise, it’s the previously mentioned Bobby Valentine facial hair.

Multiple: Lloyd McClendon’s last stolen base.

The Pitchers & Poets Not-Quite Midseason Quiz

Wilton Guerrero

Hi, my name is Wilton. My brother is Vladmir.

Editor’s Note: This quiz will be open through the end of this weekend. So please submit your answers by Sunday night (July 26) for consideration in our completely meaningless “Best Of” follow-up post.

Sergio Leone & the Infield Fly Rule not only has the best name (and arguably best banner image) in the history of blogs, but makes great reading. Like fair trade coffee and the novels of William Faulkner, SLIFR takes a little while to get into. But if you have even the slightest interest in movies, it’s a must-read. The Quarterly Quizzes they do are especially awesome, so in the great tradition of blogs stealing ideas from other blogs, I give you a picture of Wilton Guerrero and the first ever Pitchers & Poets Not-Quite Midseason Quiz.

Please drop your answers in the comments. You don’t must, but we’d love to see you explain your choices. In fact, we’ll even post results with our favorite responses/rationales at a later date:

1. Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?
2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.
3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?
4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?
5. Favorite Casey Stengel managed ball club?
6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?
7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?
8. Least deserving Hall of Famer?
9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?
10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

*Note: you don’t have to answer every question. You aren’t being graded.