PnP Postseason Quiz Greatest Hits

A few weeks ago, we asked readers to answer some silly postseason/Halloween themed questions. Their answers are pretty fun to read now that the postseason has ended and Halloween is long gone.  Our favorite responses are below:

1. The 2009 Playoff Yankees: same old overpriced trick, or sparkling new, glorybound treat?

Dave: Can it be both? Still a corporate behemoth that kills the dreams of small-market-team children everywhere, they DO have pitching this time around…

Stretch: Sparkling new glorybound treat, thanks largely to the class and intelligence of their respectful-of-the-game skipper. Expect to see more titles in the next half-dozen years. (Note: this coming from a guy who has never liked the Yankees.)

Kenneth: Step 1: Compile team of superstars. Step 2: ???. Step 3: Profit(make the playoffs). Well those assholes have made it to the playoffs in 14 of the past 15 years. That sounds like an extremely old overpriced trick to me.

2. The postseason always seems to be prone to fluke performances and freak accidents. Closers blow saves. Left fielders drop routine line drives. Journeymen pitch like ancient heroes. Is this just statistical randomness at play, or do supernatural, paranormal forces bewitch the arms of hurlers and jinx the mitts of Gold Glovers?

BL: I find it rather distasteful to call Grover Cleveland Alexander’s battle with epilepsy during the 1926 World Series a “supernatural, paranormal force”

Ember Nickel:

There’s many a freakish, odd play
That would be forgotten in May.
But done in November
You’ll surely remember
It after the year goes away.

Akshay: Anabolic Steroids are known to only last exactly 162 games based on current research. No wonder Matt Holliday messed up and Joe Nathan forgot how to pitch.

3. Scariest Halloween nickname: Al “The Mad Hungarian” Hrabosky, Vlad “the Impaler” Guerrero, or Jack “the Ripper” Clark?

Consensus winner: Vlad “the Implaer” Guerrero

4. If you could put your own postseason curse on a team, which team would it be? What would the backstory be? Get creative.

Dave: I would curse the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series every season. At first they’d be thrilled, but soon they would come to lose their sob-story identity entirely, and everyone in the league would hate them for their constant success. This insane shift of fate would be so dramatic that Cub fans would start complaining that it isn’t fair that they never lose, just to get back to complaining again.

BL: The worse curse possible: I would have die-hard fans of a iconic glory starved team, say the Indians or Cubs, lose a heartbreaking 7-game World Series or NLCS to an expansion team that doesn’t try 4 out of every 5 years, prominently features teal in its uniform and plays in a football stadium where good seats are generally VERY available oh and Kevin Brown should be on one of the teams – that would be really fucked up

Paul: I would curse the Dodgers to watch an endless loop or “I don’t believe what I just saw” and Kirk Gibson doing his limp-ass fist-pump. Over and over, for all time.

5. Which overused historical postseason baseball highlight have you seen so often that you want to  dump a bucket of blood a la Carrie on its head? Which underused moment in history should be prom king?

Alex: Sorry Eric, but Gibson’s homerun, great play, but lets give it a rest. And now for my homerism Endy Chavez’s catch in the NLCS.

Reeves: Kirk Gibson’s home run. I mean, Game 1? Really? Give me more Joe Carter

Paul: I would curse the Dodgers to watch an endless loop or “I don’t believe what I just saw” and Kirk Gibson doing his limp-ass fist-pump. Over and over, for all time.

Akshay: Kirk Gibson. Easy Answer. I would use 1995 Edgar Martinez double down the line ending with dogpile on Junior and that pretty smile of his.

Kenneth (edited version): The Gibson HR gets a disproportionate amount of airtime. Yes, yes FOX we understand that he could barely walk when he hit that HR. But really him swinging a bat pales in comparison to Willis Reed running up and down a basketball court for 40+ minutes.

Fine guys, I get it.

Ember:

Though it’s but my bias, I am
Partial to Ventura’s “grand slam”,
A ghostly home run.
Yes, the game was won,
But single, salami, or sham?

6. More effective Cardinals postseason disguise: Brendan Ryan as The Rogue or Albert Pujols as a banjo hitter?

Consensus: Banjo Hitter with bad mustache.

7. Hypothetical situation: a new rule requires admitted and convicted PED users to wear a scarlet letter of shame on their uniform during the playoffs. Do you support or oppose this rule? Why or why not?

Akshay: They should all be tattooed with a big asterisk on their forehead.

Steve: Consider where most of the Scarlet Letters of Shame would be needed. Do you really think they’ll show up well on the Red Sox uniforms? Oh, SNAP!

Ember:

Throughout the decades, baseball’s seen
Cheaters, racists, those just plain mean,
And various jerks.
I don’t think it works
To make this decade’s drama a scene.

You can’t choose one era’s bent laws
And claim they’re the ones to give pause.
Though the game’s been hurt,
Red thread on a shirt
Won’t do a lot to help the cause.

8. Name the horror movie villain who best corresponds to the postseason’s remaining closers: Mariano Rivera, Jonathon Broxton, Brad Lidge, and Brian Fuentes.

Rivera: Mike Myers, T-1000 from Terminator 2, that little bunny from Monty Python’s  Holy Grail, the Chupacabra (inexplicable), Hannibal Lector (winner!)

Broxton: Frankenstein, Biff from Back to the Future, David Wells, Swamp Thing,

Brad Lidge: Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, Jack Torrance (Nicholson’s character  in The Shining), The alien guy from Men In Black. He may be scary, but never succeeds.

Fuentes: Pennywise the Clown, Cartman, Brian Fuentes of the ‘07 Rockies (scared the dickens out of Denver, beginning about September 15th), Freddy Kreuger

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