Celebrity Rogue #13: Glenn Stout — No SOB — Puts On His Crap Cap

RBI_rogue marketing post_enos slaughtersAnd so begins the long goodbye. This is our last celebrity contribution, and it’s with pride that we introduce a pair of terms by Glenn Stout, author and editor of the Best American Sports Writing series, but more importantly a mensch whoembodies the Rogue’s cunning knack for the humor in baseball’s minutiae. His terms take us to places familiar, but never-quite previously stated, and will leave you, we promise, with a whole new way to tease Joe Buck.

The SOB

The SOB is the son of a broadcaster. Since the late 1980s The Golden Throats of baseball broadcasting enacted the peerage system. Since that time baseball broadcasting jobs, like belly fat, male pattern baldness, and alcoholism, have generally been passed from father to son.

No other talent is required.

The Crap Cap

This is the cap you wear when doing crappy, sweaty dirty jobs that will otherwise ruin your good cap, such as changing the oil, running a chain saw, cleaning a sludge pit, caring for a baby, nursing lepers, cleaning up after a dog with a stomach virus, etc. It is a cheap, cotton, non-regulation cap of a) a team neither you nor anyone else really cares about [ see Padres, San Diego], b) a team you detest beyond all logic that you wear solely for purposes of defilement [New York residents, see Red Sox, Boston. New England residents, see Yankees, New York. All other residents of the continental U.S., see both], or c) your favorite team, but given away as a promotional item, usually with a cardboard brim or in a horrific “painter’s cap” edition, also often sporting the corporate logo of the company that thought it was good marketing to give away a cheap-ass, lousy cap.

Alright folks, it’s been fun posting these definitions these past five business days. But now,we’re afraid it’s time for a return to regular content. In the meantime, the Rogue’s Baseball Index will live on, growing constantly. Seriously. Feel free to visit it many times per day, tell your friends, dress up as the rogue in public, etc. There will be RBI updates here when applicable too.

Thanks to you for reading, and a big thanks to our baker’s dozen of fine contributors.

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