Corban Goble, editor of the silky smooth Epilogue Magazine, brings us two terms this afternoon, representing the opposite ends of a man’s social spectrum. First a term for the kind of guy you know too well, and never want to become . Second, a modern spin on an ancient metaphor.
There are a handful at every game. A transplanted Northsider obstinately donning his deep blue Cubs jersey at an Orioles-White Sox doubleheader. That guy wearing a Dimaggio jersey perched behind the Rockies’ dugout. The fan that resisted wearing anything else in their entire wardrobe in order to make a resonant statement while attending the cathedral of another man’s religion, resolute to fly their flag in any company. Perhaps they’ll speak openly about their childhoods (the Cardinals are my father’s favorite team, RIP) or allude to some vague pastoral. Oh, and they’re usually jerks.
Babermetrics is the general study of collecting, analyzing, and deciphering deep hook-up related stats typically ignored by the mainstream, far too concerned with base-counting and “home runs” rather than consistency and other critical components of hooking up with girls. Notable babermetrics statistics include Bar Factor, The College Coefficient, and VORB (value over replacement barfly).
For more of these gems be sure to hit up the Rogue’s Baseball Index.