Ember Nickel of the often e-less Lipogram! Scorecard! offers up the latest Celebrity Rogue contribution to the swelling cavity of hardball knowledge that is the Rogue’s Baseball Index. On tap, there’s the basic delusion of old school broadcasters, and a melancholy marker of a favorite done moved on.
Keeping Score at Home consists of, while at home, filling out a scorecard to keep track of a game being watched on TV or, more romantically, listened to on the radio. In the days before pitch-by-pitch updates online or through cell phones, this might have been an eminently worthwhile undertaking. Nowadays, the belief that some people might be Keeping Score at Home propels radio announcers to repeat themselves, sometimes by using numbers to represent fielders in a way that lends a smug sense of superiority to a small group of listeners. This all takes place despite any evidence that anyone is actually Keeping Score at Home.
The One That Got Away is the player whose career with one single team spans, if not multiple decades, the early years of your childhood fandom. After he is past his peak and/or your market is too small for his salary, he is traded for several prospects or goes unsigned by a general manager whose shrewd sabermetric knowledge far exceeds yours. When The One That Got Away gets away, it causes you to resent said general manager with a child’s self-righteousness for years, when you could have been doing more productive things.
Stay tuned for more tales of baseball madness and sorrow, as our Celebrity Rogue week continues…