The Pitchers & Poets Not-Quite Midseason Quiz

Wilton Guerrero

Hi, my name is Wilton. My brother is Vladmir.

Editor’s Note: This quiz will be open through the end of this weekend. So please submit your answers by Sunday night (July 26) for consideration in our completely meaningless “Best Of” follow-up post.

Sergio Leone & the Infield Fly Rule not only has the best name (and arguably best banner image) in the history of blogs, but makes great reading. Like fair trade coffee and the novels of William Faulkner, SLIFR takes a little while to get into. But if you have even the slightest interest in movies, it’s a must-read. The Quarterly Quizzes they do are especially awesome, so in the great tradition of blogs stealing ideas from other blogs, I give you a picture of Wilton Guerrero and the first ever Pitchers & Poets Not-Quite Midseason Quiz.

Please drop your answers in the comments. You don’t must, but we’d love to see you explain your choices. In fact, we’ll even post results with our favorite responses/rationales at a later date:

1. Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?
2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.
3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?
4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?
5. Favorite Casey Stengel managed ball club?
6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?
7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?
8. Least deserving Hall of Famer?
9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?
10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

*Note: you don’t have to answer every question. You aren’t being graded.

19 Responses to “The Pitchers & Poets Not-Quite Midseason Quiz”


  • 1. Keith Herenandez obviously. That mustache is glorious, plus it makes great fodder for those sexist Just for Men commercials.
    3. David Cone.
    4. Carlos Zambrano, that fat bastard.
    9. Brooklyn Dodgers, cause brooklyn is where it’s at.

  • 1. Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?

    – Bobby Valentine’s fake mustachio.

    2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.

    – Billy Ripken. He’s Danny DeVito to Cal Ripken’s Arnold from Twins. But hey, he’s got a TV gig.

    3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?

    – Cone

    4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?

    – Big Z, Carlos Zambrano, a switch hitter for god’s sakes, with a .238 career average. That’s assuming we’re not still counting Rick Ankiel as a pitcher…

    6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?

    – Field of Dreams. I could watch James Earl Jones brush the imaginary flies of memory away from his face on a loop for hours.

    7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?

    – Well, there’s Vin Scully, the one-man broadcast crew, but that’s too easy. I’ll say the Giants’ Duane Kuiper and Mike Krukow. Hilarious, insightful, energetic, and they’re always on mlb.tv late night what with the time difference.

    8. Least deserving Hall of Famer?

    – Bob Lemon, that bum. Just kidding, I have no problems with Bob Lemon.

    9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?

    – The Expos, if only for the strangeness of that awful, empty stadium in what feels like an old European city.

    10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

    – I’m a fan of the simple’turn the hat around so that you can get up in the ump’s grill the better. Most notably from Bull Durham.

  • 1.Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?

    – I’m just relieved that the great goatee crazy of the 1990’s in thankfully behind us

    2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.

    – Ozzie Canseco is the obvious choice but I’m going with Paul Dean due to the unfortunate barnyard incident he and Dizzy both valiantly tried to stop as children

    3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?

    – Cone
    o The only Met to deliver in 1988 NLCS
    o Did a great bit with Letterman in 1988 making fun of Whitey Herzog’s haircut
    o Just this week attempt to defeat that vile den of backward thought know as the U.S. Supreme Court by testifying at Sotomayor’s hearing

    4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?

    – Walter Johnson – people he was more than a man

    5. Favorite Casey Stengel managed ball club?

    – 1963 Mets – improved by 11 games over ’62 Mets!

    6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?

    – Bull Durham – mainly because I went to Bulls games and the Bull never assaulted my cousin; sadly I cannot say the same of the Winston-Salem Warthog

    7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?

    -Jon Miller doing radio (he once compared the skydome to the final set piece in Moonraker during the heart of the 1989 AL East pennant race – sublime)

    8. Least deserving Hall of Famer?

    – Without question Bowie Kuhn (amongst his many crimes: my father once asked him if he slept in the nude and Bowie refused to answer)

    9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?

    – Boston Braves; only to confront the twee and wholly insufferable Red Sox Nation with a serious psycho-sexual dilemma

    10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

    – Anything ever done by Earl Weaver. Read the article in the latest SI. SI is like ESPN for people without head injuries.

  • 3. Cone, because poetic types should be able to talk about pitchers who’ve actually pitched perfect games and not just nearly-perfect ones that represent the subjectivity and meaninglessness of the modern world or whatever.

    4. Zambrano. Or Babe Ruth?

    6. Field of Dreams, because I haven’t seen Bull Durham.

    9. Brooklyn is a good choice, though my initial instinct was the Cleveland Spiders. I’d also support returning the Braves to Boston if and only if their mascot would make slightly more historical sense and cause slightly less protesting.

  • 1. Dennis Eckersley…few can pull off a moustache of that nature.

    2. I am going with the sisterly version of this question. I always felt bad for Kit Keller. Dottie Henson was just too much of a superstar for the Rockford Peaches. (I certainly hope I do not have to explain the reference!)

    3. I’m throwing in a wild card. David Wells…..the only sport where you can be that fat and still throw a perfect game.

    4. Randy Johnson circa 1995 Game 5 ALDS M’s vs. Yanks relief appearance. Entering a 4–4 game in the ninth, he pitched the 9th, 10th, and 11th innings allowing 1 run, KO’d 6, and leading Seattle to the biggest victory in their history.

    6. Field of Dreams purely because of James Earl Jones.

    7. Ill say Vin Scully only because I know how much he means to the author of this blog…otherwise Dave Niehaus puts everyone else to shame.

    9. My answer will forever be the Seattle Supersonics (no matter the sport)

    10. Atlanta Braves minor league skipper. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Th_pTycmpY 0:32 is the best part.

  • 2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.

    Hope you don’t mind sport jumping, but Brent Gretzky is easily the best for me. He is co-holder of the most NHL points ever scored by a pair of brothers with a combined 2,861; Wayne had 2,857. Brent had 4.

    4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?

    No one is taking Micah Owings and his .298 career batting average? Sign me up.

    7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?

    Gary Thorne for the Baltimore Orioles. He brings a hockey-like intensity to the lovely game of baseball. “SAKIC SCORES!” or “BASEHIT UP THE MIDDLE!”, its all money with Gary.

  • 10. Cap Anson. On August 10, 1883 Anson protested Moses Fleetwood Walker’s participation in an exhibition game, he eventually gave in when he was threatened with losing the gate receipts. Next time he was in Toledo in 1884 he had a signed contract preventing Walker from taking the field.

    9. I kind of wish this question asked if I could kill or disband one franchise which would it be. If I am forced to choose though, I will go with the Troy Trojans. They played in the smallest city to ever have a major league sports team from 1879-1882, and only did so because the teams in New York City and Philadelphia had been kicked out for not completing their schedules.

    8. Bill Mazerowski. He has a .260 career batting average and 138 homeruns over 17 seasons. He basically got into the Hall of Fame because of his defense and one homerun. After his induction the Hall was ashamed by the lack of standards so they changed the Veteran’s committee and no one has been elected via that method since.

    7. I have many problems with this question, especially the excluding the only people you really ever listen to part. Also, I don’t really like the crews part either, I generally hate one of the two guys. This really doesn’t answer the question but the best announcer in the game is Steve Stone and the worst is Hawk Harrelson. I gave you one crew at least.

    6. For Love of the Game

    5. Boston Braves/Bees. No reason really I just love old Braves Field, it was designed with the dead ball area in mind at the dawn of the live ball area.

    4. Do you need a homerun, drive two guys in from second and third, or a bunt single to start a big rally? Wait it does not matter. Just ask Wade Miller, the answer is Carlos Zambrano. Hit the gaming winning homerun in his last two wins, drove in the Cubs only run in regulation in his start before that. He has the most homeruns of any pitcher in the DH era with 19 and at 28 is only half way to the all-time mark.

    3. Dave Stieb. It was tough both did not play for the Cubs. Cone played for the Mets and Stieb played for the White Sox. However, Stieb did play the majority of his career in Exhibition Stadium so he gets the nod. Oh outdoor baseball in Canada, Twins fans enjoy April 2010.

    2. Paul Rueschel. He had under 400 career innings and was the larger of the two Rueschel brothers which is really saying something. The great majority of his career came with the Chicago Cubs. He came up three years after his younger brother and pitched in his shadow for his best 3 ½ season in the majors, which still weren’t very good. In 1977, Tops printed a brother’s card with Paul and Rick both on it, the only problem was they switched up the names. Tops knew about the error but cared so little they never changed it.

    1. Initially because of my blatant Cubs bias I was leaning towards Sandberg’s ’87 spring training mustache but let’s be honest remember those crazy designs Mike Piazza put into his beard in the late 90’s with the Mets? I want to call it gay but I figure Piazza would hold a press conference to refute it.

  • 4 – A smart aleck answer would be Babe Ruth. A better answer is that it would depend on the situation. For example, for a bunt, it would be Greg Maddux. I don’t know about singles. While an obvious answer for home runs is Carlos Zambrano, he can be pitched to fairly easily in close situations late in the game. Carlos swings too hard (i.e., he doesn’t “stay within himself”), so a smart pitcher can get him. He is only about 1 for 10 while pinchhitting.

    6 – Field of Dreams. I have been there. It’s great. And it’s free (or at least it was).

    7 – Who cares.

    8 – Freddie Lindstrom.

    9 – Troy Haymakers – smallest town ever to have a major league team.

  • 9. The Kansas City Royals. Remember them? George Brett, 1985, fountains in the outfield. Did they become the Diamondbacks or Marlins?

  • 1. Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?

    Oscar Gamble. Great afro and a awesome huge moustache

    2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.

    Mike Maddux

    3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?

    Dave Cone

    4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?

    Mike Hampton. Batted .311 one year.

    5. Favorite Casey Stengel managed ball club?

    1962 Mets

    6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?

    Bull Durham. hands down, now.

    7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?

    Dunno, really. Never really listened elsewhere

    8. Least deserving Hall of Famer?

    Bill Mazeroski No offense Bill. But a .260 BA, 138 HRs and a .299 OBP dopn’t really cut it.

    9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?

    Easy. Brooklyn Dodgers. I’m a Brooklyn boy and I would love to have seen them play.

    10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

    Not sure. But any of Earl Weavers would have been great to see now.

  • 1. Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?

    I’m partial to Rod Beck for the walrus mustache/mullet combo. Oscar Gamble was a great choice.

    2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.

    Since I wrote the quiz, I’ll stick with Wilton.

    3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?

    Stiebster.

    4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?

    The answer is obvious: Hideo Nomo.

    5. Favorite Casey Stengel managed ball club?

    Kind of shamefully, I’m partial to the 1956 Yankees.

    6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?

    Bull Durham.

    7. Best local broadcast crew, excluding your hometown/favorite team?

    Anybody but the White Sox crew.

    8. Least deserving Hall of Famer?

    Rube Marquard. Also the least deserving pitcher named Rube in the Hall.

    9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?

    The Seattle Pilots. I think that market needs a second baseball team.

    10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

    I’m partial to the Lloyd McClendon’s taking out the first base bag and carrying it off the field with him to the clubhouse.

  • 1. Al Hrabosky

    2. Vince Dimaggio or one of the crappy Delahantys. It’s bad enough if you have one brother who’s way better than you but to have two or more is on another level.

    3. Stieb

    4. Discounting any pitchers who wound up playing as regulars at another position, Bob Lemon. Currently, Owings has to be the pick.

    5. I don’t want to go with a Yankees team but the rest of his teams are only memorable for being awful, so I guess I’ll have to pick the 1951 Yankees with the changeover from DiMaggio to Mantle, plus Johnny Mize.

    6. Field of Dreams

    7. Don’t really have one.

    8. Morgan Bulkeley. President of the National League for its first year but didn’t do much of anything.

    9. The Providence Grays. Just because there’s nothing you can do with gray to make it interesting, especially when every team wears gray on the road anyway.

    10. The Braves minor-league manager could have won if he cut his act by just a little bit. It wound up being overdone even though the grenade act was probably the most original single action I’ve ever seen. Otherwise, it’s the previously mentioned Bobby Valentine facial hair.

  • 1. Bruce Sutter- The pre-Ted Kazinsky

    2. Billy Ripken

    3. Steib

    4. Obviously C.C. Sabathia-as he gets larger it would be a hoot to see him having to run out a potential hit

    5. Any Boston Brave or Brooklyn Dodger team

    6.Bull Durham-even though it had way too much sex and not enough baseball

    7.Cubs-even with Santo

    8.It’s all one person’s opinion. I think the whole place is tainted with somw of the players in there.

    9.The Cleveland Spiders-to make the Nats look good.

    10.The magic of the Lloyd McClendon stolen base.

  • 1. Excluding Rollie Fingers, who has the greatest facial hair in the history of the game?

    – Piazza’s fu manchu

    2. Least enviable inferior big league brother. Example: Wilton Guerrero.

    – Tommy Aaron

    3. Dave Stieb or David Cone?

    – Cone

    4. The game is on the line. You have to send a pitcher – any pitcher – to the plate. Who is it?

    – early Babe Ruth (or, if that’s cheating, Don Drysdale)

    6. Bull Durham or Field of Dreams?

    – Bull Durham

    9. If you could resurrect one dislocated or disbanded franchise, which?

    – Montreal Expos. I feel that city really could support a major league team, and might still have a team if the 94 season were played out.

    10. Most memorable instance of creative technique employed by manager in confrontation with umpire.

    – Lloyd McClendon’s last stolen base.

  • 1- Jeff Bagwell’s mid to late 90s goa-tee could’ve rivaled ZZ Top’s

    2- Ozzie Canseco (exactly…huh, who?) for identical twins Jose sure got all the power, Ozzie had a whooping 0 bombs in his few years of sporadic games in the bigs inbetween long minor league power dominances

    3- David Cone BY FAR. Not a knock on Dave Steib at all who was a good pitcher in his own right, but come on…5 Rings, a perfecto, and a Cy Young

    4- Other than the obvious early Babe Ruth. I’d say that Micah Owings would probably pinch hit for power better than most bench players out there. He could pull off the next “Rich Ankiel” move if his pitching doesn’t improve soon.

    5- The 1954 Yanks. Casey managed so many HOFers and great players on this team that swept the Indians who were national league then in the Series. He had Mantle, Rizzuto, Berra, Ford, Enos Slaughter off the bench wow. I love his line, “Managing is getting paid for homeruns someone else hits.” I’m sure that applied in ’54 really well for him.

    6- Tough call 2 great movies (Costner’s only decent ones in my opinion) but Bull Durham wins out for me because of the comedic value of the behind the game type stuff like the chit chat of the whole infield’s conversations during mound visits, etc

    7- Being a Dodger fan its hard not to pick Scully but since I can’t, the Joe Morgan & Jon Miller combo for the dreaded Giants (blah) games are very entertaining. Must be why espn uses them for their primetime broadcasts

    8- Roger Bresnahan definitely doesn’t have anywhere close to H.O.F. stats although he did popularize modern catching equipment his 26, YES!, 26 career homers/530rbi/.279avg over 17 seasons while being a great and versatile fielder just does not add up to enough to mention only 1 post season and a losing record as a manager

    9- Not a big league move but I used to love going to Peninsula Pilots games as they once were the single A affiliate of the Mariners in Hampton, VA. They moved to Delaware I think, back in ’93. Now they use the really OLD stadium for a young local independent semi-pro team which is cool but not quite the same. AAAANNNNDD also, if I could play Bud Selig/God for a day I would have Arte Moreno sell back his L.A. title back to Mayor Villaraigso and keep it strictly “Anaheim” again.

    10- That minor league manager a couple years ago that went absolutely crazy by screaming at the ump in a tirade then covered the plate with dirt, picking up and throwing bases and then throwing imaginary gernades while army crawling through the infield was completely ridiculous to see. Still entertaining to look up on you-tube from time to time

  • 1. Ken Caminiti had some real aggressive facial hair. He looked like a tweaked out biker who just spent the past three years lifting weights in San Quentin or Pelican Bay.
    2. My first thought is Billy Ripken, though maybe it should be Mike Maddux. The real answer has to be Ozzie Canseco, right? Was Ozzie Canseco an identical twin? Because career minor leaguer versus borderline/potential hall famer (or at least Jose would be if he didn’t rub so many people the wrong way) has to be the be the biggest discrepancy between two baseball brothers with (potentially) identical genes. Ramon Martinez was probably the best lesser brother in recent memory.
    3. It seems like Cone had the longer career, being with those Mets teams early, the Blue Jays in the middle, and Yankees late in his career.
    4. Well the obvious answer is Babe Ruth, isn’t it? Excluding him, I remember Fernando and Orel being good hitters, especially with 1988 Orel outhitting Canseco (aside from his monster home run in game one, and I don’t mean Ozzie).
    5. Miracle Mets? Stengel was way before my time.
    6. I have never seen Field of Dreams. Bull Durham by default. Eight Men Out is by far my favorite sports movie.
    7. I only know the Dodger and Angel broadcast crews, best known for Vin Scully and Rex Hudler respectively. Can you guess which one I like and which one I don’t?
    8. Everyone who played prior to integration is not deserving if you want to honest about it. Relief pitchers are probably undeserving as well. Bill Mazerowski?
    9. Les Expos.
    10. Taking the base and either throwing it, or taking it with you to the clubhouse.

  • 1. Al Hrabosky….Bake McBride was the poor man’s Oscar Gamble

    2. Mark Leiter….a half season of decent pitching then poof.

    3. Cone

    4. Don Newcombe wasn’t bad, Mike Hampton or Kenny Brett

    5. 49 Yankees, just to show he was not a fool

    6. Bull Durham though I can’t stand Mr. Monotone

    7. The late Kalas and Ashburn

    8. Rabbit Maranville

    9. Philadelphia Athletics

    10. Who carried an umbrella to the plate to point out it was raining? Bobby Bragan had a few techniques, including laying down on his back I believe.

  • 1. Dennis Eckersley
    2. Ozzie Canseco. Seriously, how do you follow up the great Jose?
    3. David Cone- Apparently he liked to have a good time in the bull pen.
    4. Babe Ruth. Next question.
    5. 1953 Yankess. “If we’re going to win the pennant, we’ve got to start thinking we’re not as smart as we think we are.”[
    6. Bull Durham. Field of Dreams is a chick flick.
    8. Candy Cummings.
    9. Montreal Expos.
    10. Pretty much anything Lou Piniella does is ok with me.

  • 1. Spiezio – the only player to have a facial hairstyle named for him.
    2. Hose B. Canseco
    3. Coney
    4. Bob Forsch
    5. ’44 Milwaukee Brewers (minor league) – paired with Veeck.
    6. Come ON, Ray … You CANNOT sell this farm.
    7. Kruk and Kuip hands down.
    8. Who am I to question or dis ANY HOFer?
    9. Ain’t no trolleys to dodge in LA … of course, there aren’t in Brooklyn any more either. Regardless, a new Ebbets would be great.

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