This poem, by super-poet/children’s writer/scholar/translator/holder of cool initials XJ Kennedy is not, in fact, about Brian Giles and his .443 OPS. But it is about vampires, so Brian Giles does have something to do with it.
I swung and swung at empty air
And when I heard the umpire
Behind me shout, “Strike three – you’re out!”
My bat turned to a vampire.
The whole team had to pry it loose.
Poor Ump looked sorta flat.
Now ever since, my bat and I
Walk every time we bat.